Nine Months and Counting

Two days ago I celebrated 9 months since my surgery and things are well. I have no idea where all this time has gone! I know I was home for three full months after surgery, which (for someone who has never had medical leave before and never took more than 3 weeks of vacation at a time) seemed like an eternity. But now, I can hardly remember ever being home. I have been back to work for 6 months now, and it's all a routine again. 

I have no words to describe how incredibly grateful and humbled I am that I am here today, typing this. Although I am not the same person, physically (in so many ways) that I was a year ago, I feel well, and I am adjusting to my new reality. Living with Coumadin is not as scary as it was in the beginning. I go to the clinic every month and I take my INR myself at home, about 2-3 times in-between my clinic appointments. My INR is usually either within the range, or  higher. My range is only 1.5 to 2, so when it's 2.3 or 2.1, it doesn't concern me that much. 

My left arm has been numb since the surgery, and it's actually getting worse, for some reason. Only the pinkie and the 2 next fingers were numb, and now my whole hand and wrist are numb. No idea why. My breathing is shallow (see previous post for details), but I am learning to live with it. 

Believe it or not, I still have "pump head". I have days when words just don't come out of my mouth. I KNOW what I want to say, but I cannot say the words - and it looks like I am stuttering. I read that this could last for 5 years in some people. 

We are trying to make some plans for a cruise or some tropical vacation for later this winter, and I am a little nervous about flying again and going into different territory, outside the range of my doctors, but ... life is short. And I want to live it. And God has been so generous so far, that I feel encouraged to put this new lease HE has given me to good use.
I already started  shopping for Christmas, and we just remodeled a couple of rooms in our home. In other words: life is moving on, even after heart surgery. 9 months ago I could not have conceived I would be doing all these things in this much time. But life's a living surprise. And I am so amazed and in awe of it all! 

I asked one of my friends who has had his aortic valve replaced too about 6 years ago when will I just go through ONE day without thinking about what's going on in my chest. He said to give it at least 3 years. So, I'll try to be patient and still obsess over my heart, BUT ... I want to do things, too. So, I'll push through each day, one foot in front of the other. Worry or without. 

Another friend of mine asked me if I am going to yell at my surgeon when I see him next time (next month) for messing up my breathing and my arm, but IS SHE KIDDING??? The man practically killed me and brought me back to life in one piece! He gave me a functioning and better heart, and probably added years to my life. I have no words for the gratitude I owe him forever. I truly hope he lives forever and he gets to help many, many people. And I hope God is really good to him! I would not be here much longer if it were not for people like him, brave enough to fix hearts! 

I pray for all of the people who have to face heart surgery and are in some leg of this journey. I hope all of them have smooth rides, good teams and a lot of hope and faith! You all can do this. Medicine is amazing nowadays. Much health, strength and hope.