One of
my friends who just had a baby posted on Facebook that she is likely to soon
turn into a goldfish cracker. I am just guessing, because she’s busy being a
new mom, eating whatever snacks are in her way, this could happen.
And I
tell you what – some days lately I feel like I am going to turn into everything
I eat, too.
I have
had a love-love relationship with food lately. I would love to eat it, and it
loves to tease me – constantly – to eat it, too. I usually eat … not so very
healthy in the winter, as it is, just because I am so not a winter person and all
that cold makes me do is crave gravies and mashed potatoes and hearty potato
and bacon soups. Oy! I know, you’re thinking: suicide! And I agree!
On top
of the winter blues, for reasons totally unrelated to FH, I have also had to
take hormones. It’s a temporary thing, that will go away once I can be
scheduled for a surgery (long story!). But for the past month or so, I feel
like eating the paint off the walls because of these pills! I try really hard
not to give in, but I swear I am gaining weight by just the thought of wanting
to eat alone.
And
when I do eat, it’s comfort food, and soft, warm, white carby messes. I
made a kale and turkey sausage soup the other day (good!) and although it’s
deliciously healthy, I am craving Pillsbury Grands with it! Again, I tried not
to indulge. I just added a couple of spoonfuls of fat free sour cream for extra
silkiness.
Some
foods I have indulged into lately, however: (frozen) pizza, shrimp
alfredo, Village Inn’s country
skillet (comes with eggs, sausage, fried hash brown potatoes – to absolutely
die for – and I am sure that’s what I am doing, too!), PF Chang’s Singapore street noodles – I keep telling myself they
are healthy because of the veggies and because they are spicy, but they are
fried…
I know
this will get worse – as I will be going through surgery and then healing and one
thing I don’t need is watching what I eat to ruin my mood. So, I write with a
sigh, and hoping I can at least put things into perspective for me before I let
this whole craziness take control of my life!
I am
still trying some healthy tricks, in the meantime, just to remind me of the “good
path” – like still using low fat or no
fat ingredients in my own cooking, and I have just introduced a glass of carrot
juice a day for extra veggie intake. And a Vitamin C to help me boost this immune
system that’s trying to kill a head cold for a month now …
I have
subscribed to blog and news updates from low fat cooks and FH/ heart doctors,
still hoping to keep me on track. But I am human. And the winter, coupled with
the hormones and the slight moodiness about my newest diagnosis don’t help. I
am not blaming anything or anyone on my lack of control, of course. Like said –
just putting it into perspective …
I wish
I could say it’s a lifestyle by now for me to just stick to a healthy regimen, but
as you know – it’s a daily reminder and sometimes a daily struggle, too. As
long as you give yourself room to fail, a couple of un- healthy breaks, here
and there, forgiveness, love of yourself and much, much understanding. I think
you’re still on the right path!
