More Pain. No Gain.

I sometimes have this fantasy that I will walk away from it all, and I will just live a “normal” life … with no doctors’ visits, no drugs, and no tests. Ever. For the rest of what’s given to me.

Some days, like today, this fantasy is more like a nagging “can do” plan.

I have been bitter about doctors almost all my life, but since I moved to Utah it’s gotten worse. And no, it’s not just me getting older and having less patience. But it’s the lack of knowledge and care and, yes, knowledge of the doctors I have found here. I sometimes joke that the Medical Schools or America cannot flunk doctors! Can you imagine? Going to school for 6 years, investing all that cash and at the end of it, you can’t pass your graduation exams, and they won’t give you your diploma?! THAT can’t happen.  People would sue!

So, instead, they let them pass and they give them the degree to practice, to the worst and least prepared of them, but they make a deal that they will only practice in Utah – and thus we have what we have here. I am sure there is fine (she says with restraint!) medical staff around this state, but for now, for 4 years (almost), I have not found one!

My new doctor (because, yes, I am always looking for that “alright one”, at least) cannot diagnose my pain, in my gallbladder/ liver area, and all the other symptoms that come with it – bloating, GI changes, sense of fullness, rashes on my face, etc. He keeps ordering more (very expensive) tests, but all of them come back clean.

As you know, the endoscopy showed no ulcer on my stomach, so now, he wants a HIDA test, which can show problems with my gallbladder. Although, I have symptoms closer to celiac disease than gallbladder, but that’s another story …

That test is $1500 and right now, I can’t do it, because the one facility that does it around us is out of the drug necessary to do the test. Apparently, a “nation-wide” shortage. OK. It’s probably good timing, though, because I have not met my insurance deductible for this year, so I can’t pay that out of my pocket anyway. But in the meantime – can we do a celiac blood test? No, he says. Should I stop taking the meds for my cholesterol, which can cause gallbladder disease (he said!) – no, he says. Don’t change anything till we figure this out, but he won’t do anything else, other than the impossible to do right now gallbladder test … So, more delays.

Can you give me anything for my rash? No – because it’s near your eye, so I don’t know what to give you, but here, go to a dermatologist and he’ll figure it out! He asked me twice what I have put on my rash and told him twice that I have used Neosporin and Benadryl. Twice, while he is apparently typing notes into the computer. Do you think he got it?! Probably not …

In the meantime, my eyelid is peeling into my eye ball, and I am doubled up with pain, daily. Maybe around March, they’ll have the drug for the HIDA test and I’ll gather up some cash to actually pay for it.

But until then, it’s more delays, more tests and mostly – more pain.